I love to create art and so many people think I'm so great... the problem is, I don't think I'm that great. Certain things in my life come easy to me, but when they come easy I don't push myself past my comfort limits.
In school I always did what the teachers and professors wanted to get the A. I never had anyone really push me to explore my true potential. I have so many likes and interests I'm not sure where to focus my energies.
Of course like many others I have fears and reservations about busting out of my comfort zone. I hope that by recording my struggles I will be able to overcome my fears and break down some barriers.
I have a small side business I'm trying to start up but like everything else I have some reservations and doubts. Money is tight so that is a real concern that I struggle with. I wonder... what would be that one great idea or that "I gotta have it" image that I could easily paint over and over and sell tons of.... I guess I should explain my business a little so you can follow...
I was at a shopping mall one day with my family window shopping as always, cuz we can't afford to buy anything, when I saw a glass hand painted for sale for $25. I thought to myself, 'I could so do that and charge way less!' So I went to the thrift stores, dollar trees, and other department stores to look of good quality drinking glasses to paint on. I started painting with acrylics and spraying a varnish to seal the paint on the glass... that didn't work. I did some research online and found some paints that could be baked on and were dishwasher safe! I bought a few colors and started painting away.
At first I did a bunch of copy righted images (knowing full well I can't sell them without legal ramifications) because they were well known images that people knew. They could see my "talent" and I could paint whatever images they would like.... Talent, HA! It's almost as if it was as easy as copy cut and paste. Of course my family and friends thought they were great! They started telling others and my little side business began.
Back to my artistic struggles. I can have great creative ideas, I can see in my head exactly what I want to do and how I want something to look ... here's the struggle... I can't get what's in my head onto paper (or glass) unless I have a photographic image to look at. For example, that yuck face symbol for poison... I can see it in my head, if I see the symbol I know what it is and what it stands for, but for the life of me I can NOT draw the image on paper unless I can physically see the image in front of me. It's like there is a mental short between my minds eye and the physical effort it takes to put said image on paper. So for my own images and ideas I have to search for visual images and borrow from here and there to get to the image that is in my head. Another example: a tree. I see them day after day, I can imagine in my head all the different details and angles but unless I go outside with my camera, take a photo and print it out... I can't draw that simple image.
How am I going to break out of my comfort zone? How will I overcome my fears and break down those barriers? I hope that through prayer and practice I will soon find answers to these and more questions.
